It was night 9 pm when I was holding on to the little energy left in me and was standing as the last person in the queue with my groceries push cart in a super market.. Before I could even understand what was happening, one guy threw a bag of tomatoes to the floor and shouted, 'call the manager now!' I am one person who would take to her heels when there is anything loud, sudden or even crowded. A chill ran through me and I became alert hearing the loud noise. Next he threw eggs on the floor and made the whole place as nasty as possible drawing not just the manager but the security guy and whole lot of other crowd while I wanted to drop everything and run away to safety. As he was whisked away, a terrified child clutching to his mom's legs was walking behind him, supposedly his wife and son. The things Anger can do!!
The outcome of his behavior,* The young boy is going to have a lasting impression about his dad. * The wife would never want to go out with him again. * People like me had a mini anxiety/heart attack.
* Nearly ten to fifteen minutes time went watching the show. * The staff had to clean up the mess. * The negativity let out by him was lingering for a while in everybody's mind. * And the reason why he shouted went in the air!
He had a commendable motive. He wanted to have the rest of the cash counters opened so people could get the billing done faster and get back home quickly. His point went unnoticed because of his anger and behavior! Look at the picture below..
Is there anything at all nice about them? Then why do we get so angry? Most of them are angry with themselves more than the situation that puts them into. Angry that their life is not moving forward. Angry that they are being treated less. Angry for what they have become in life. Angry that life is not fair with them. Angry that the loser next door seems to do well in life than them. Angry that nothing goes their way. Angry that they are not respected. Angry that they were used. Angry that they are not able to bring about the change they want. Angry about their mundane life. Angry that someone turned them down. Angry that they are not able to make enough money. Angry that what was theirs is now someone else.The anger keeps piling up inside and comes out in the wrong time at the wrong person, triggered for the wrong reasons.
We are human beings and we really cannot escape from feeling anger. Can we? The way we deal with anger is what we need to focus on. For when you get angry your actions are much faster than what your brain is thinking. You shout at others, get into pointless argument or worse turn to beating up people and violence. Channeling out the frustration is important, for you can let the dustbin overflow with garbage and invite all sorts of rodents or dispose it off in the right way and keep clean.
- Think what is that you want to change in your life. When you bring about the change you want, you will feel confident and at peace having more control over your life. This is the most difficult thing to do. For our mind is often with the belief that there are so many external factors controlling our lives. We fail to understand that we make the choices of our life based on the factors we think that our controlling us.
- Talk to someone close to you who will understand you. It is good way to vent out frustration and be listened to. Make sure you talk, not shout at them.. Talking drains out most of your views about the problem itself and you will feel better.
- Write down your feelings. Whatever you want to scold someone at just put it on that paper. The paper has the capability to take in all your frustration without complaining. Writing also helps you analyse the sequence of events that led to your anger and hence you will be able to solve your problem in a better way
- Move out of that place as soon as possible.. isolate yourself and take a deep breath. If you are having road rage pull aside. If you received a bad mail from boss, walk out, get fresh air, have a coffee and then come back to your seat. If your job is frustrating, make a move. If your mind is clogged too much, pack your bags and take a break. Taking a break gives you good memories to collect, puts you out of the situation and the clog in your mind shrinks.
- Sweat it out, do some physical activity. run or walk or punch that boxing bag. You get fit and your mental strain drains out. Is that not cool and advantageous! When I get very angry I start walking fast aimlessly. I walk and walk until my brain stops thinking about anger and starts thinking about aching legs. It is kind of making you to come to your senses, to feel things.
- Take a hot shower, eat an ice cream, have your favorite food, smell that rose. Good food and pleasant smell plays a major role in soothing one's mood. The smell of rose helps you calm down easily. Not just the smell but when you look into those neatly arranged petals, your concentration gets diverted to the rose and it does some magic. Same goes to slowly enjoying the food you like. Also listening to good music of your choice. It is about awakening your senses.
- Look at yourself in the mirror. Do you know how bad you look when there is no smile in the face. So the next time you get angry, stand in front of the mirror and frown and shout and show faces and you will land up laughing out loud till your stomach aches. That is when you will realize how ridiculous you look when you are angry.
- Do what you like. when you are angry is when you will have the full energy to fight it out. Turn into something like writing, painting, cleaning your place, gardening.. One, the job gets exceptionally well done. Second, you will have a sense of achievement leading to positive energy. Third, you would have forgotten what you were angry about.
Now that you have channeled out your anger, you will be in a better position to analyse the situation that has let you into. Put yourself into the other person's shoe. Well most of the time when you think of why you landed up being angry, you will laugh over it. If you have already let out your words, apologize. If you were bothered by someone, let them know. If the place you are in is toxic, pack your bags and make a change. And if you are on the receiving end of an angry spew, just ignore that nut case and give them time to tighten their nut. Don't get offended and spoil your mood.
Remember, any behavior that comes out of anger will only bring shame. Anger is a fire which will burn you down and everything you touch.