Many years ago, I was watching an episode of How I met Your Mother. For people who don't know HIMYM, it is an American sitcom where Ted Mosby recounts to his kids, the events that led him to marry their mother. Basically lot of breakups and makeups and patch ups and relationship gyans. There was this particular episode which was about, "Being on the hook". Did you get the context? How do I put this.. When someone is on the hook, it means, they like you, they want to be with you all the time, they make it very obvious that they like you, but you neither commit to them nor reject them but keep them on the hook by giving lines of hope and the other person always hangs from the hook hoping that one day things will turn out to be better! Honestly, this is a spot to be in, which is worse than being friend-zoned.
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You are on the hook when you are ready to do anything for them. Wait for their message. Wait up late night just because they need a leg. Always available to hang out. Always free and ready to help them. You know every details of their life. You remember every f***ing thing they tell you. You come up with excuses by yourself for every call of yours that they don't attend or do not say yes when you ask them out. They are your priority. If they do not attend your call, you convince yourself that they are busy! Even though you know you are not in their league right now, you always have the someday it will be hope.
To have someone on hook is probably the cruelest thing to do. Everybody want to feel special and when someone treats you like a king/queen, you enjoy all that attention you are getting. You get things done out of them. You see the excitement in them but deny to acknowledge it. You feel content that there is always someone to turn to. You know that they want more but you are always in the, "I am just not ready right now". You keep looking for all the options in hand while you also keep a tab on them to see if they are still available.
For people who are on the hook let me break the news - you are the plan B, you are the backup plan. They always keep you on the back burner. You might think that one day things will work out but no, you are the last option and they will always be searching for someone else because nobody wants to settle for the last option. So even if nothing works out for them, you will be the comforting factor and nothing more. Imagine that dress lying in the corner of cupboard that you bought impulsively but then doesn't really like it later. It will be there in the corner like some kind of dress you will wear when you run out of dresses, take it out once in a while and wonder if you should wear but then put it back and buy new stuff! Well you are like that dress. You are there but not there.
And people who have others on the hook - you are pathetic and selfish! There is nothing worse than making someone waste all their time and life over you while you don't have any intention of proceeding any kind of relationship with them. You can always say that you did not commit to anything or that it was their decision to be on your hook and hence it is not your fault. But you should also know that you are an adult who is consciously misleading someone. If you are so needy and attention seeking you should have just got that puppy no..
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Years back when I saw that episode of HIMYM, it hit me so hard! I finally finally pulled up all the courage in the world, picked up my phone and asked that one person if at all this is going to go anywhere. It was a murky my mother, my father won't allow reply and the rage of 'what the hell you were doing with me all this time' rushed all over me. However heartbreaking it might be somethings need a closure, you cannot hang on the hook for long, for it pierces through the skin causing deep scars. I did something else too next. I picked up the phone and called that one person I had on hook! Errr.. Yup! I was a cruella too! The feeling that there is always someone around who treats you special was like awesome. But at that moment I knew how am being unfair when I had no intention of taking it any further. First he denied, then he wanted to be just friends, then he pleaded! This is what on the hook does to you! Even if you let go off someone from the hook, they want to hang on from the hook! Why? Cause as long as you are single the other person hopes that one day you might turn around and see. It's a bad thing to keep yourself as an option in somebody's life.
Feelings for each other is not always mutual and it's ok. To get hurt for a short while is way better than waiting all your life only to know you were just an option/ filler. To bring closure to things is way better than remaining confused all the while wondering does she or does she not! Help yourself out of going nowhere. You will find that special someone, this is not the one! So my dear people who are on the hook, do yourself a favor, let go off yourself from that hook.