"Amma, let's go to the beach after dinner.." me and my mom were at the dinner table of a private beach resort. "Who goes to the beach in the night?" "Why not? We are at a private beach resort. There is a security guy, no thugs. When will you get to roam in the beach at night? I am going" "NOOOoooo you are not. There is a time to do everything. And night is not the time to go to beach for a girl!" "I will go. I won't get a better opportunity." "You cannot have lunch for breakfast. There is an appropriate time to do everything. You are not going means you are not. That is it." "I am going! I am your daughter and I will be as adamant as you. I am going means I am going." "There is nobody to control you!! Should have got you married long back then a guy would have been there to control you!"
I swallowed in a whole jamun at one shot which in turn swallowed the spiteful words which were coming out in full speed. We walked up to the room and I realized I had missed my shawl at the dinner table (I swear I did not leave it behind on purpose). I went down to fetch it, turned towards the stairs and stopped! Here is my chance!! I turned and walked towards the beach as fast as my feet could take and there I stood with the sea roaring in front of me. Beach is one place which is close to my heart always. I always have the feeling like the waves talk to me, "I am the one to roar, dash and retreat, not your mind. I am the one to ebb up and down not your thoughts." I stood there calmed by the sea and the waves were forming a silver lace along the beach. And my thoughts were fast racing.
Sometimes, I don't know if I do things because I want to do it or I do it because my mother does not want me to do it.
She says, "don't go to beach" and I have come running towards it.
She says, "don't go around travelling by yourself" and I pack my bags.
She says, "put face mask and be pretty" and I irritate her with tan lines.
She says, "you are in a comfortable job don't quit now" and I quit to make a move.
She says, "you need to invest money and save it, not spend lavishly" and I say Govinda Govinda Goooovindaaa.. She says, "don't chop your hair, you need it for your wedding" and I go chop it off. She says, "don't roam around alone in the roads" and I say, "Ok then I ll roam with a bf?" She says, "Don't buy a car, I don't trust you, God knows whom all you will give lift in your car" and I say,"Ooooo then I should buy two wheeler more comfortable". She says, "you are heading for a heart break" and I go ahead and break it into pieces.
She says, "earth is round" and I argue that it is flat.
So you see, I want to say just the opposite of what she says even if it does not make any sense. Two reasons why I do that. One, because I know she is right! Strange na, but that is how it is. Most of the time she would have warned me much much earlier, while I would go stray around and then come back to her as a wounded puppy. So I rebel to prove that at least this one time I'am right. Second, I do it because most of the time the conversation would end with, "There is no guy to control you." Sometimes it shudders to think that, if my mom only has this opinion then what would be the opinion of the mother of a guy!! Is someone somewhere right now is getting trained to control me! In that case I am definitely not looking forward to meet him. But I cannot blame my mother for this opinion. She was born and brought up in a family ruled by six brothers and her father was the chief of a village. And of course they were controlling an entire village. An entire village comprising of men and women were controlled by her father and poor she was not able to find a guy to control one, just one girl!!!!
To have come from such family, she has gone a long way in accepting some cultural shocks that I put up now and then.
"Amma, am going off to Bangalore to work." - Whaaaaaat?!
"Amma, am going to north India trip with some friends". - Guys are there? Yes Amma. Whaaaaaaaat?!
"Amma, am going to Europe with a travel club" - "Whom do you know? Any of your friends coming" - I know none am going. - Whaaaaaaaaaat?!
"Amma, am going to Sri Lanka with a friend". - Thank God at least this time somebody is there with you. Yes only we both are going. - Whaaaaaaaat?!
"Amma am going to a place near Mysore today" - How are you going? Two girls driving down the highway. - Whaaaaaaaaaat?!
"Amma, I tried gin today, not at all nice". - Whaaaaaaaaat?!
The cold wind blew hard on my face and my hair was almost violently slapping me in the wind. I looked up at the sea. There it was speaking to me again. "Is there one thing you listen to your mother and not make her fret? She has changed a lot to accept all that you do just because she knows it makes you happy. And all you do is to keep her on her toes.. Now go back to your room and apologise." How very true! She has put up with all the tantrums I have been throwing for the past few years and am not able to stand one statement of hers, 'no guy to control you.' Sighhh. May be I should stop rebelling for everything. May be I should give her only one shocking news per month! May be only one argument per week. I better go back to the room she must be worried. Probably also thinking, she has failed to raise a girl. Poor she na.
I walked back to the room and there, she was locking the door, setting out to look for me.
"You went to the beach!!!"
"Yes Amma.. It was so beautiful, you should have also come, there was no one there."
"Exactly my point! Nobody goes to beach at this hour!! You never listen." "Ha ha yes yes you are always right.. And I will listen to you here afterwards. Ok :)"
Few weeks later,
"Amma guess what I did today?"
"What? You jumped from the building?"
"Nooooo.. I went scuba diving. Like they show in nat geo channel, dive into sea with oxygen mask and all. I saw beautiful fishes!"
"Whaaaaaaaaat! There is no guy to control you! #$%@#@%$&%&*$@" Hee heee.. One news per month allowed right :D :D